Two years ago, I took on a challenge called “52 essays 2017” which became the main platform for this blog. It was also the beginning of me stepping out into the world with my writing for the first time in over a decade. I was nervous as hell. But over the course of that year, I learned to develop my voice and learned how to share my work more and without fear.
This past year I was invited to join the follow up to that challenge “52 essays next wave.” I attempted it but not with the same enthusiasm I had the year before. I wondered if I was running out of things to write about. While I got better at some things, like naming my pieces, I struggled with keeping up on the weekly posts. It’s not so much effort to write one of these, only a couple of hours of writing and editing. Yet, I fought the writing and while I wrote plenty of other things, I have neglected this blog.
I know that things go in spurts and cycles, especially for me. Usually, one thing captures my attention with sprinklings of other things throughout. My most common path will be weeks of reading more than I write only to flip a few weeks later to write more than I read. This also fluctuates depending on everything else around me, like work and home. So, I chalked it up to a shift in cycles.
Yet, after weeks of trying to write blog pieces and not getting anywhere, I decided to rethink things. The biggest problem for me is that I have no set goal, no set plan, no real purpose besides the actual writing. (Which is a fine reason, but not enough for me.) I need a solid direction or a theme to tie my posts together. I need a place where I can be more genuinely myself and not falling into the trap of writing what would be “expected.” This need is not just for me but also for my readers.
I have finally figured it out. My focus is going to be on something that is very dear to me. Learning and growing. Developing, evolving. I am not here to tell anyone what to do or how to do it. I aim only to share my experiences as well as my progress and failures. In the hopes that it might be what someone else needs to hear. There is always hope and opportunity for growth every day.
I have several books that I am working with through this process. Writing brings epiphanies to the surface that I would like to share and explore as well. Such as the role of experimentation in success. Or my discovery that because I avoid conflict whenever possible, my storytelling lacks the right amount of conflict.
One thing writing has taught me, is that a story can connect to others in ways the writer might never have imagined or intended. It is a part of the writers’ job to share what they learn and what they know in the best way possible. Sometimes it is through a story and other times it can be told more direct. Since these blog posts fit my original style and form of writing, I find this an easier way to express myself.
Now that I learned what didn’t work for me, I can accept my failure. I’ve learned that I need a bigger purpose for my writing to drive me. So, over the next few weeks, I will be reworking this site. I will write based on the theme of self-improvement and personal growth. I will be adjusting my sails to this new direction and enjoying a radiant journey.